My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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