Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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