some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
