And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
