She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
