You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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