So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize