its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
