I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
