Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
