got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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