Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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