Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
