We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
