This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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