Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
