he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
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