fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
