He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
