bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize