That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Randomize
