Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
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