The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Randomize