You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
