When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
