K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
