never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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