those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
