In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Randomize
