after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
