Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
