So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Drunk is a universal language darling
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
