I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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