so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
