just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Shame - the story of my life.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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