you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
