i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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