I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
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