He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
