What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
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