ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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