I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Someone signed my nipple.
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