The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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