Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
