Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
