I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
