I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Randomize