It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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