if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
as a side note pls kill me
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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