ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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