That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
