4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Randomize
