Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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