guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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