Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
You ate ashes out of my bong
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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