the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize