I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
