Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
