belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
