Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
